Day 23:
Today was rough.
No punchline, no poetic metaphor—just hard. The kind of day where even my coffee looked at me and said, “good luck, girl.”
My marriage is in a tender place right now.
We were separated for six months last year. After nearly twenty years together, we made the choice to try again—not out of habit, but out of hope. It wasn’t a fairy tale reunion. It was a conscious decision to see if there’s still something worth rebuilding.
Our 18th wedding anniversary is coming up in December. 18 years. That’s almost old enough to move out of the house and pay rent. That number carries weight.
So does the work it takes to make it mean something.
And while I’m not here to vent about our relationship, I am here to tell the truth. Because that’s the deal I made when I started this challenge: to show up, even when the storyline doesn’t follow a perfect arc.
We don’t have it all figured out.
We’re trying. Some days, that trying takes everything I’ve got.
By mid-afternoon, I had done none of my “ideal day” things. Unless scrolling Instagram while lying in bed counts as active recovery. I hadn’t even had water. Who forgets water? Oh right, me. I was low. Like, staring-into-the-void kind of low. But somewhere in the fog, I remembered why I started this challenge. I remembered that this blog, this account, this rhythm—it’s become the thread that’s holding me together some days. Not because I want attention. But because it gives me something to return to. A promise to myself. A line to grab when everything else feels like quicksand.
So I edited the reel.
Posted the blog.
Even though it felt like lifting concrete. Which is ironic, because I didn’t even manage actual weights today.
And here’s the beautiful, ordinary thing:
We ended the day on a high note. The girls, Josh, and I went to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire in theaters. For a couple hours, I got to sink into magic. Not the kind I’m trying to create in my business or my goals. Just the kind that flickers in the dark when your people are beside you and the world feels a little softer.
I wish my “ideal day” could happen every day. But I’m learning that real life is the rhythm. Some days flow. Others drag.
But every time I show up anyway—I build something stronger than habits.
I build trust. And hopefully tomorrow, I’ll also build enough willpower to drink some damn water.
See you tomorrow.
(Unless I delete the internet and move into the woods.)
—Jenli
“Trying to become the main character without losing my mind.”