Day 2

Day 2: Not Every Day is a Revelation (and That’s Okay)

Today was the first real day back to routine.

The girls went back to school, and for the first time in what feels like forever, the structure of my day had a natural boundary. There was less open space to float through, and honestly… I think I needed that. I’ve been testing pieces of my “ideal day” for weeks now, but summer gave me too much freedom. The clock didn’t matter. I could shuffle and shift all day long. And even though I love the idea of freedom, it turns out—having too much of it made the rhythms harder to stick to.

It wasn’t a perfect day. I had pockets of energy and little sparks of “this feels good.”
But also a lot of “what the fuck am I doing?” moments too.
Which… probably sums up most transformation journeys, right?

The good moments today were weirdly paired with music. Not calm, aesthetic music. Not the kind I journal to. This was fun music—upbeat stuff that made me move. I caught myself dancing a few times and even filmed it, just to capture the vibe. Maybe I need to make a playlist. One for workouts, one for mornings, one for snapping myself out of a post-shower slump.

Because yes—there was a slump.
After my shower (which I actually blocked time for), I hit this wall. I didn’t want to go into my 90-minute work block. I didn’t want to be “on.”
But I had a trick: headphones.

I’ve been using them as a physical signal to start work, and today, that cue helped. I didn’t set a countdown timer—too jarring. I used a stopwatch. That way I could ease into flow without a buzzer kicking me out.
I ended up working for 1 hour and 42 minutes. Not bad.

I worked on my blog—actually got a lot done.
And then later, after kid pickup and groceries, I hit a weird in-between moment… I’d finished everything. All my blocks. And yet, it felt lazy to rest.
So I went back to work on the blog again.
Got wrapped up in it. Pushed out my first post. A couple more hours flew by.

And the craziest part?
I didn’t feel proud.

I could look at it and say, “Wow, I did that.”
But I didn’t feel that.

It all just felt… like I was going through the motions. Which, I guess, is sort of the point. It’s working because the system is in place. Because I don’t have to decide what to do next. I just look at my next line and follow the rhythm. And maybe that’s a win.

—Jenli