Day 20:

Today was the first day I put jeans on in almost four months.

I tried once over the summer—but they were so far from fitting that I just quietly boxed them all up. Basically, they’ve been sitting in denim purgatory ever since. It felt less like storage and more like sealing away a time capsule of ambition. I told Josh if they didn’t fit by fall, I’d need to buy new ones. Since then, I’ve been mostly living in dresses. Which, honestly, kind of aligns with one of the visions I have for “Future Jenli.” Soft fabrics. Ease. An understated elegance.

But there’s another version of her too—the one who walks into a bookstore or a sidewalk café in perfect denim, a crisp top, and killer shoes. The kind of look that feels effortless… if you ignore the three outfit changes and minor identity crisis it usually takes to get there.

That “effortless” look? It takes a lot of effort. Not necessarily hard effort, but medium effort—the kind I’ve been building slowly during this challenge.

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Medium Work, Long Payoff

When I was in my 20’s I would do a lot of “hard work”, but in spurts. Like training for a half marathon, or organizing every little thing in my closet, or reaching a weight goal. Then, when I achieved it, I would give myself some “hard earned rest”… that would inevitably stop whatever it was I was working towards. I couldn’t actually maintain ANY those things I had worked so hard for.

This time is different.

This time, I’m building it all on “medium work.” Not max effort. Just steady, intentional showing up. It’s the Goldilocks zone of effort: not too much, not too little, just enough to keep things moving.

Even on the days I’ve had low flarmahoogans, I’ve given what I could:
A walk.
Some Pilates.
Food that feels like fuel.
A blog post.
A social share.
My nighttime routine.

It’s not dramatic. It’s not Instagram-worthy. But it’s still effort.

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The Jeans Still Need a Hair Tie

So back to the jeans.

Yes—they went up. But only with the hair tie trick I used when I was pregnant. Proof that some tricks never go out of style—unlike low-rise jeans, which should stay gone forever. 😂

And while I’m proud I could get them on, I also felt that twinge of impatience creep in. I miss the results I used to get from “hard work.” The fast results. The instant reward.

But I’m not that girl anymore. I don’t want to be.

This time, I’m building something that lasts.
And maybe that means the payoff is slower.
Maybe that means my jeans don’t fit yet.
Maybe that means I turn the dial just slightly—not into overdrive, but into intention.

Because I don’t need to do more than I can sustain.
I just need to keep showing up with the kind of effort that stacks over time.
Even if the stacking is invisible.
Even if I’m still using a hair tie. Tiny deposits in an invisible savings account that Future Jenli will eventually cash in.

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